Understanding Who You Are
Fundamentals of Growing Fearless – Part 1
What matters most is that you have a clear definition of yourself.
There are many ways to build that definition—some more philosophical than others—but the key is to start. Begin with a first version, even if it’s rough.
If you define yourself by your successes, what do you do with your failures?
I’ve noticed that when I introduce myself as a collection of wins, there’s a part of me that feels like a trickster. That’s the moment when the infamous impostor syndrome kicks in.
So here’s a better question:
Am I trying to get something when I introduce myself?
It’s important to notice this, because sometimes our intentions aren’t clear. And just like you can feel when someone else is stretching the truth, others can feel it too. We all have built-in B.S. detectors. We care about authenticity because it’s the foundation of trust.
So, how do we build a truthful and empowering definition of self?
Step One: Write a full description of yourself—for your eyes only.
Use questions like these to reflect:
What does my society consider an “ideal person”?
How different am I from that?
What do I love doing?
What do I prefer to avoid?
What’s my current expertise?
What have I achieved so far?
What failures have shaped me?
Here’s a sample to inspire you:
“My society wants me to be a traditional professional—working all day, resting on weekends. But I want time for joy and fun any day of the week. I chose the freelance path. I love trekking in nature and sharing meals with friends, although I’m not much of a dancer, so I usually skip loud parties. I’m a skilled web developer, and lately I’ve become strong in SEO. My previous businesses failed, but now I’ve signed my third major client.”
Step Two: Don’t forget this.
Having failures doesn’t make you a failure.
Not having big achievements doesn’t make you a lost cause.
Not knowing what you like yet? That just means you need more experiences.
If you’re reading this, you’re already building your path. The rest—failures, successes, preferences, surprises—they’re all still ahead.
Some of my greatest successes were born from incredible failures.
And some of my most meaningful failures came from ambitious, successful initiatives.
That’s just how it works.
Step Three: Work with your fears, not against them.
Don’t let fear or insecurity pull you away from an extraordinary life.
Talk about them. Write about them. Share them with people on a similar journey.
This is not about chasing validation.
Because here’s the truth: the competition for success only exists for those who choose to compete.
Everyone else?
They make their own rules.
This is the first in a series of reflections from my book, "Fear Enough."